dear Boys | on existentialism.

i’ve heard the conviction in

your words— the overarching

questions every time we've

discussed Spirituality—

“BUT WHO IS G-D, ANNIE?!

+ WHO DOES THAT MAKE YOU?”

+ i see you. i hear you. i get you.

i see a Man still sitting by his

ill Daughter's hospital bed,

wrestling with the lies that

modern-religion spews as

answers, yet watching every

promise sold for cash in the

offering plate, continuing to

return void.

i see a Man who demands

answers to the suffering he

sees going on around him—

“HEY!!!

WHO is in CONTROL here,

+ WHY AREN’T YOU FIXING IT?!”

i see a Man wrestling with

existentialism + benevolence

that doesn't fit into a tidy, little

box with an easy-to-read label.

a Man contemplating a Creation

that is full of mystery + far

more unknowns than knowns.

i see a Man asking questions

+ seeking answers as he explores

the heights + widths + breadths

of those unknowns.

these are 2 Truths

i have come to accept—

in my Life experiences as well

as my studies—

1. *The Word does not return void.* (to the Best of my understanding, at this stage in my journey, The Word is spoken dialect from an Intelligent Creature, not limited to what we on earth consider “human.” many historical / religious texts discuss cross-breeding of Spiritual Creatures with G-D's Children. i don't think these hybrid species ever "went away.”) —

Words have power and meaning, + those who Live in the authority of The Word— which you acknowledge are set-apart, rare— we are the Intelligent Creatures who understand the power of the spoken Word + weild it to change that which we want changed.

// i do not believe this power is limited to only Good entities.— in fact, much in line with your thinking, i believe that the entities of evil are far more / better practiced, versed, trained, + studied. evil is literally hell-bent on the take-over of souls for the REMOVAL of Blessing, whereas "Good" tends to spoil easily.

if you haven't read C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, i would almost assign it as homework. if you HAVE read it, re-read it.

2. ⁠*seek + ye shall find.* — the Cosmos + the Flawless Engineer of such is nothing short of terrifying. so where do you hide your heart? in that which is lovely + Good? or in that which vexes you + others?

— i think truly enlightened thinkers can be both protagonist AND antagonist in their thought-processes, so therefore, see the evil as well as the Good. when we learn how to see both in everything, we become more fully cognizant of our ability to choose + participate + alter the course.

choosing to use your power for GOOD is NOT the way of the world. "people" want fast money. fat bank accounts. shiny toys. pretty friends. fake sex-objects. numbing drugs. + to be seen by others as problem-free. our entire society is based on lying + faking + rewarding the best liars + most deceptive fakers.

i know PLENTY of these types who have lotsa money + lotsa toys + lotsa "friends." their souls are as black as night. they are miserable. they are cursed. + their curses spill out on everyone around them as they fake smile + fake live + fake win.

i believe we are in THE RECKONING, hitting never-before-experienced-in-our-earth-lifetimes cosmic alignments— + Time (as mysterious as any portion of The Flawlessly Engineered Creation) is now at SHOW + TELL. HARVEST the crop you planted. REAP the seeds you've sown. LET'S NOW SEE THE FRUIT YOU BEAR.

the Truth is being revealed at radically magnificent levels + at an increasingly expedient rate for those of us who SEEK TRUTH.

but for those Creatures who insist on Living in the lies they have found so profitable in the past— they + their progeny will only continue to be eternally cursed + more cursed.

what any Intelligent Creature intends for destruction + mayhem + torture + chaos + cruelty + unjustness— The Flawless + Benevolent Creator of All that is seen + unseen HAS ALREADY WORKED TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO ARE CALLED TO WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD.

.

to me— you stand on the line

between Good + evil, [Man],

+ you demand answers.

my only question is—

are you wise enough, humble

enough, meek enough?

to actually RECEIVE the Answer

when it's staring you STRAIGHT

in your face?

patiently waiting for you

to come Home + be Loved.